So, here are my top 15 no-brainer methods for leading an incredibly average life:
- Pay $30+k to ‘find yourself’. Go to University because you’re supposed to and you have no good ideas for what else to do with your life anyway.
Don’t worry: Take out student loans, you’ll have lots of time to pay them back.
- Get a job and work 45+ hours / week, because – “hey!, everyone needs a job” right?
Don’t worry: You may hate it, but at least you have a paycheck.
- Head into the ‘office’ every day for the next few decades and sit in your cubicle – or, if you’re ‘lucky’, your open office seating. Check off boxes on a never-ending todo list and jump through hoops.
Don’t worry: you can surf Reddit, check Facebook and play Solitaire when nobody is watching.
- Live beyond your means. Buy a fancy car, a big new TV. Put it on your credit card!
Don’t worry: It’s kind of like free money and your friends will be impressed with all your ‘stuff’!
- Watch commercials, billboards and magazine ads, trust marketers to tell you the truth about life and how to make yours more fulfilling.
Don’t worry: You deserve some luxury items after all your hard work jumping through hoops and checking boxes all day and ‘they’ said it was cool!
- Don’t push the envelope, try new things, voice your opinions.
Don’t worry: Your favorite restaurant will always serve your favorite dish just how you like it.
- Accept what everybody tells you at face value and don’t bother spending any time thinking about other peoples motivations.
Don’t worry: Everybody you meet has your best interests at heart.
- Concern yourself about what other people think.
Don’t worry: Your boss, your friends, your parents, and most of the people you pass on your way to work everyday know what’s best for you.
- Develop a regular weekly schedule. Plan out meals, social events and all activities well in advance.
Don’t worry: It’s important to always know when leftover night falls.
- Never travel anywhere truly foreign. Other people can be strange and have nothing to teach you.
Don’t worry: Trips to all inclusive resorts and package cruises are nice and affordable and you’ll be able to rub shoulders with other people who jump through hoops and check off boxes most days.
- Have some kids. Stick them in daycare. Put them in school. Trust the system.
Don’t worry: The system has your child’s best interests at heart.
- Watch a lot of TV and movies – The new golden age of television is here!
Don’t worry: It’s great quality family time right? Besides, at least you’ll have something interesting to talk about over the water cooler between hoop jumping and box checking.
- Don’t bother wasting time thinking about life and what you really want out of it.
Don’t worry: Things have a strange way of working themselves out for better or worse and at least you didn’t waste any time planning for it.
- Spend a lot of time day dreaming.
Don’t worry: Dreams can be very fulfilling, and they’re a great way to eat up some of that 45+ hours a week jumping through hoops and checking off boxes.
- Live in the same city you grew up in. Forever.
Don’t worry: It’s comforting and you’ll know everyone.
Average is incredibly boring. Average is completely un-fulfilling.
Thanks for visiting and don’t forget to change the world on your way out!